Baumbach’s Ballyhoo---June, 2012

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Baumbach’s Ballyhoo*
Volume 3, Edition M6
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In this issue:
Intro
Comings & Goings
Writings, etc.
Shameless Plugs
Quote of the Month

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Intro
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Hey there!  Thanks for sticking with me (or not bothering to look at your e-mail)!  Either way I'm happy, I guess.

I have a proposition for you:  “Like” my Facebook page and I'll give you an ebook copy of Mayageddon 2012.  Rules: offer ends 6/30/2012 and you have to actually read it and post a short review (2 or 3 sentences) on Amazon.com.  Sound fair?
My Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Ken-Baumbach/239508246094374
Check out the YouTube Book Trailer at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoZNGOnLNlc

Best,
Ken

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Comings & Goings
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I'm currently on chapter 13 of Crime Does Pay, a comedy about an Octogenarian trying to get thrown in jail to get better healthcare.

There are lots of comings and goings this month but number one is the Mayageddon End of the World Book Tour!  There are tons of fun items available like tour t-shirts, ebooks, autographed books and much more in exchange for your generous pledges (get something for as little as $5).  Please share it with your friends on Facebook, etc. if you can.  I'd really appreciate it...thanks!  Check out the cool Kickstarter project at:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/374963549/mayageddon-2012-end-of-the-world-book-tour

In addition, Mayageddon 2012, an “end of the world” comedy is now available as a paperbook and ebook, and The Heretics' Power, an epic fantasy is available as an ebook (paperback any day now).
Also, my non-fiction spiritual book, Mere Theosophy, is in final editing and should be out in a month or two, followed quickly by another short non-fiction how-to book tentatively called The Quick and Easy Guide to Self-publishing and Self-Marketing a Book.

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Writings, etc.
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The Wright Stuff

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." He sees things differently than most of us.

Here are some of his gems:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
And the all-time favorite -
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

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Shameless Plugs
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Follow me on Twitter: @KenBaumbach
Check out my blog: http://www.KenBaumbach.com
My Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Ken-Baumbach/239508246094374
My Amazon author page is: http://www.amazon.com/Ken-Baumbach/e/B005UEG1YK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1336741433&sr=8-1
I lost 17 lbs. In the last month (really).  This is what I used: roundrock.isagenix.com
Mayageddon End of the World Book Tour:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/374963549/mayageddon-2012-end-of-the-world-book-tour

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Quote of the Month
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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

*Ballyhoo-noun-(1) Sensational or clamorous advertising or publicity. (2) Noisy shouting or uproar.  (3) My silly newsletter (my wife’s definition).